Friday, November 30, 2007

Friday 30 November 2007: Heidi and Sarah welcome Sarah's dad to Face The Day as he sleeps his jetlag away...

Sarah says:
My dad arrived so I stopped by our office to show it to him and say hi to Heidi and my dad fell asleep on our couch! We snuck up behind him and took our Face The Day photo. He might not be too pleased when he sees it as it's not that flattering!
Jetlag is a mofo! He's fast asleep on the couch! What to do, what to do, what to do...
I want to go home and eat soup and we have to hit the center of Kortrijk to get chocolates and cheese and go to Delhaize to get some groceries. Tonight Zita Swoon and The Bony King of Nowhere, which is another one of Greyn's keyboard player's bands. I hope to see Jan tonight! It's always good to see him. I hope Zita Swoon are as good as usual in concert because as you know, I couldn't really get into their newest album. As devoted a fan as I am, it just didn't do it for me! I hope tonight's gig revitalizes my Zita Swoon love!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Thursday 29 November 2007: Heidi and Sarah have a whacky day and Sarah gets ready for her dad's visit!

Sarah says:
This was a useful day full of good stuff other than the odd ache and pain here and there for both me and Heidi. I have a day off tomorrow! My father is coming from New York. I have to get up at 5am and drive through dark and rainy traffic to pick him up! But that's okay! I can listen to music while I drive and curse at people a lot while I spill coffee all over myself! I look forward to seeing my dad. I think losing Peter reminded me how important it is to see those important in your life as often as you can or at least as often as feels good. I don't really see any of my family enough or have as much contact as I'd like. With that said, I did move far away for a good reason!!!! HAHAHAHA - just joking!

So I look forward to tomorrow. I have lots to do and I'm seeing Zita Swoon in concert tomorrow night while my dad stays home with the child!

Have a great day without me Heidi! Now you don't have to close the hallway door when you you-know-what! Nor do I at home! :-) Just so you know folks, it's such a joy to be working together like this! The days pass well! We are good busy! And we can close the aforementioned door when we need to!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Wednesday 28 November 2007: Heidi and Sarah LOVE Devendra Banhart and want to be in his life and Sarah in his bed!

Sarah says:
Devendra Banhart is pretty much my dream man if we're talking looks alone! Of course he looks nothing like Marv, because you never marry your fantasy! What fun would that be and Marv is just fine for me! He's the best! But Devendra, my my my! He is great to dream about. I HAVE TO see him live once! Not only is he a beautiful beast, his music is so good! Just look at him there in that photo between me and Heidi! I mean c'mon! Even those of you who hate facial hair and long hair on men and who aren't into men at all - well I'm sure even y'all can see how very attractive this man is! He has this vibe coming out of him. I had better be quiet now as I am a married woman! But don't fret! Marv understands! I mean Monica Bellucci is on his list! Tell us who is on your list? You know which list I mean!!! That list couples make about celebrities they'd like to have in bed with them! Leave your lists in our comment section. Stay anonymous if you'd like! I dare you!

I do apologise for being so shallow again today! I can't help it. I think I'm escaping deeper and harder thoughts for the moment by keeping things on the surface...

Heidi says:
Heidi says: Devendra... aaaaah... what can I say. He let me into his life when he put me on his album cover! I am very proud about that! That’s all... J

Sarah adds:
Here's an extra picture for you all today! We love our ever-changing colourful clock! Check out our profiles! Can you guess which one is Heidi????!!!! :-)

Wednesday 28 November 2007: Heidi is sick at night

Heidi says: I felt really sick at night. I even hung over the toilet to... well, I'll leave it to your imagination. Hoping for a better day...

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Tuesday 27 November 2007: Heidi and Sarah had a good, productive day and their faces show it...

Sarah says:
It's been a goody of a day! That happens every now and then. Heidi does feel kid of sick though so that's not good. And my face was bleeding today but no biggy! What's up with that photo above? That doesn't even look like me at all! I look to sweet and kind up there. And what's up with my neck skin? Is that a flash into the future? Anyway, a good day shall be followed by a good evening no doubt as Little House on the Prairie will be the featured event with my kid. Lovely...

Monday, November 26, 2007

Monday 26 November 2007: It's a new week here at Face The Day and Heidi and Sarah forgot to take a photo together yet again...

Sarah says:
I wake up at around 4:30 am every middle of the night these days and can't sleep from there on. It's wearing me out and just look at my skin. Again my theory rings true. Studies show that women are supposed to look most attractive when they are ovulating - women who are ripe for making babies that is! As I have said before, I break out and get loads of acne most often around the 12th day of my cycle - just as my eggs are supposed to be making their big plunge. My face, rather than saying "hey big boy, wanna make some babies with me" says "keep away! not very good chances of me getting pregnant! Not very good chances of baby reaching full term". That's good old Darwin for you! If this was a few eras ago, I'd be rendered dead meat for sure! I would not be the fittest because my reproductive functions are all screwed up thanks to having one fallopian tube and half a womb and all that. So take the message my face is giving you right now and listen to Darwin while you are at it and keep your distance if it's babies you are after. As the woman from the show COPS said back in the day "Because I'm ugly!" At least today anyway...

Now back to more serious stuff -- I think I don't sleep well because I have Peter on my mind. I go to sleep with him in my head and I wake up at 4:30 with him in my head. I do have to say that yesterday I felt more serene and calm about it all thanks to the serene and calm funeral Saturday. You do get to say goodbye sort of and go through the emotions. But what troubles me as much as it comforts me is seeing photos of Peter - like the ones down below that I posted the day of his funeral. I can remember the moments the photos were taken so clearly. I can hear Peter's voice in my head so fluidly. It's like he's there. It's hard to get my head around the idea that he just isn't here anymore and ever will be again. He's still so tangible. I like that because I can think of him and record memories to a deeper place or put them down on paper so they stay clear. But I also know that as time moves on, memories fade and that scares me -- or makes me uncomfortable anyway. I don't want to lose grasp of this person I have known for all these years.

The song that struck me today was this one by The Editors. I listened to them throughout the last 4 months and so many of the songs on their newest CD are about loss. At the end of July, when I saw Peter, I gave him this CD to copy. I had just bought it and the words hadn't even hit me yet. I didn't know what it was all about. I just liked the music and the voice so much at that point. Now this CD has taken on a whole new meaning for me, just as Greyn's song Arnica has and Bjork's song Unravel and Jeff Buckley's song Grace -- and so, so many more that I listened to during the last 4 months that brought Peter to mind. Again, I am happy these songs are now connected to memories of Peter and thoughts of him. But there is something unsettling about that as well because he really isn't here anymore and that just sucks.

Heidi says: No pictures of me today, but just an idea of how I feel. I feel sad. I feel afraid. I feel weird. I feel lonely. I feel sad.

The Editors - The Weight of The World

Keep an eye on those you love
They will be there when you die
Baby there's no need to fear
Baby there's no need to cry

Every little piece in your life
Will add up to one
Every little piece in your life
Will mean something to someone

You fuse my broken bones
Back together again
Lift the weight of the world
From my shoulders again

Every little piece in your life
Will add up to one
Every little piece in your life
Will mean something to someone
Every little piece in your life
Will add up to one

Every little piece of your life
Will mean something to someone

You touch my face
God whispers in my ear
There are tears in my eyes
Love replaces fear
You touch my face
God whispers in my ear
There are tears in my eyes
Love replaces fear

Every little piece in your life
Will add up to one
Every little piece in your life
Will mean something to someone
Every little piece in your life
Will add up to one
Every little piece of your life
Will mean something to someone

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Sunday, 25 November 2007: IT'S HEIDI'S 29TH BIRTHDAY TODAY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEIDITJE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There's Heidi today above and below on the 25th of November 2007, her birthday!!!! Check out Yma stealing the spotlight from Heidi, on her birthday no less!!! Birth, Life, Death, Birth, Life, Death, Birth, Life, Death... And so it goes. Sometimes terribly happy. Sometimes awfully sad... Somewhere in there is some sort of balance. Terrible that the scales can tilt so low at times but lucky they can swing back in balance as often. When life sucks, it can really, really suck and be hard and be sad. When it's good it can truly feel great. So often all of these things and contrary feelings can happen all at once. There is reason in that though it remains as hard to make sense of horrible things...


That's Heidi above last year on 25 November 2006 blowing out her candles! She had given birth to Yma a couple of months before. If you want to check out exactly what she was up to on that day a year ago, you can via this link.
That's Heidi two years ago celebrating her birthday on 26 November 2005. If you want to know the details, check out what she was up to that day via this link and on her birthday itself in 2005 via this link.

Heidi says: Change your heart Look around you Change your heart It will astound you I need your lovin' Like the sunshine Everybody's gotta learn sometime Everybody's gotta learn sometime Everybody's gotta learn sometime Change your heart Look around you Change your heart Will astound you I need your lovin' Like the sunshine Everybody's gotta learn sometime Everybody's gotta learn sometime Everybody's gotta learn sometime I need your lovin' Like the sunshine Everybody's gotta learn sometime

Sarah adds: It's Sunday so that means Post Secret time! I dedicate my below Post Secret pick of the week to our dear Heiditje! It just sounds like something she could say! I'll just add that it's such a freaking pleasure to not only work with Heidi day-in and day-out but also to have her as such a close friend. Heidi, you mean the world to me! But you know that arsehole. You know that by now for sure! We are a great team of friends and co-workers and wise-guys! I hope it stay this way for a long time to come. I treasure my relationship with you so much!

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Saturday 24 November 2007: We will remember you always like tonight's amazing sunset Peter De Wilde... 18 May 1972 - 20 November 2007

ARNICA by Greyn

'Cause I've been wading
and I'm not getting very far
I've been driving
but now I can't find my car

and these legs aren't about to hold me up for long
it's been a midnight run
that's got us where we are

You said you were diving
when I caught your fall
like a streamer
swaying and colourful

Why did I choose to catch a piece of broken glass
that could only cut through skin
and begin but never end

When I first met you, you were a daisy and now I only see the bruise.

And now I only see the bruise.

And I am your caretaker
because I don't want to be
your undertaker

And I take care of you
when you're
under the weather

And I weather all your storms
when you storm on through
our house

And I house your fears
when you're too afraid to
come out


And what came out last night is that
I am no longer your knight and shining armour...
I'll keep you safe and warm.
I'll stop the storms.
I'll take care of you.
I will. I do.
I'll be your caretaker.
And I'll take care of you.
I'll be your caretaker.
I'll see you through...

Friday, November 23, 2007

Friday 23 November 2007: Heidi and Sarah forget to take a photo yet again!!! But they have other things on their minds...

Sarah says:
There's another Greyn shot above with Peter at the window with the light shining through. This is another image of Peter that will forever be recorded in my memory. You can watch the video below of the Kristen Hersh song called Your Ghost. Peter and I sang that one together several times. It was a great match for our voices. It always gave me a deep shiver. It's lyrics now take new meaning for me and when I hear it now I'll forever associate it with Peter. I can see us now in my head performing it with Greyn at the Irish Pub in Kortrijk. We were all really mushed together in a corner with no space to move. But again it was so fun! I kept banging into the neck of Peter's guitar.
One line in the song spooks me - "follow my number, slide into my hand". I was cleaning out my text messages on my mobile phone the night before last. I hadn't done that in ages so there were tons. The last one I came to was one that Peter had written me on the 20th of October after my husband and I had visited him in the hospital where he had just undergone chemo. That was such an important time spent with Peter that afternoon. We really got to talk openly and fluidly about so many important things. Peter spoke freely about his sickness and about the future. He was in a good mood after all his body was going through. He knew what he was facing and seemed to accept it at that moment, though I'm sure there were days thereafter that he raged against his illness and wasn't ready to go at all. I am so glad that I was able to leave him with a card that day that expressed how my husband and I felt about him and about his wife and kids. Peter's text message to me, which I haven't deleted yet and might hold onto for a long while, thanks us for our words to him - as if any thanks were necessary at all! We are the thankful ones! We had that time with him. He was totally there with us then and we with him. He let us in. That means so much to us. We will hold onto that feeling. I guess there is a time when you let go of some of the physical reminders, such as a text message in a mobile phone or a voice message on an answering machine or a letter or piece of clothing or whatever reminders there are that are tangible. But that takes time. Having his text message in my phone right now is comforting. It's a little bit like his ghost or something. His friendly ghost, his kind words. Right now and these days Peter is driving circles around my brain. I don't mind at all. It's nice to have him here with me in my thoughts... Tomorrow is his funeral. I don't know what to say about it. I do know it's going to be one of the saddest days ever but the emotions need to flow. There will be some healing in that for everyone...

Here are the lyrics to Kristen Hersh's song Your Ghost:

If I walk down this hallway, tonight,
It's too quiet,
So I Pad through the dark
and call you on the phone
Push your old numbers
and let your house ring
til I wake you ghost.
Let him walk down your hallway
it's not this quiet
slide down your receiver
sprint across the wire
follow my number
slide into my hand.

It's the blaze across my nightgown
it's the phone's ring.

I think last night
you were driving circles around me.

I can't drink this coffee
til I put you in my closet
let him shoot me down
let him call me off
I take it from his whisper
you're not that tough.

Something totally unrelated, check out this link for an article about my grandfather Hecky Krasnow in the Hartford Courant with an interview with my mother about her book!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thursday 22 November 2007: Sarah looks back and goes blank while Heidi looks down...

Sarah says:
I like the above silly old photo of Greyn. We had to super-impose Jan's head in there. My brother did that for me a long time ago! Look at Peter and how smiley he his there. That's how I want to remember him. When he was happy he looked so happy. That was a funny photo day from 2004 I think. We were having a good laugh as you can see.

Today is definitely a dry-tears day. I feel sad but it's like bottled up and stuck. I have so much in my head but I don't know what to say. I'm rolling back the years all day and letting memories of Peter flow. I have seen his smile in my head all day. I have been hearing Greyn songs playing in my head too. These things are nice to think about and to remember.

I have also been constantly reading all the memories other people have about Peter on his wife Valerie's blog. It's incredibly moving to know just how many people are affected by his passing away. It is a strange but very special experience to be learning new things about Peter through other people's words. For example, I didn't know so many people called him 'Dolf". Maybe I missed that in Dutch or something and just didn't realize it after all these years - but it's so odd to only learn that now. It reminded me of another time I was with Peter. We were sitting in his garden filling in Sabam papers for some Greyn songs on our last demo. He showed me his identity card and I remember being so surprised by his controversial middle-name! I remember his being shy about, as if I were the first person to ever see his ID and discover his secret! Turns out I was soooo wrong! I assume that's where he got his nickname from! Anyway - that day on his terrace was nice - just me and him for a while chit-chatting in the sun, proud of our new demo! We never sent those Sabam papers in and just a little while after that Greyn broke up. We did get one really great, very short, gig in before the band broke up. That was last October the 1st at cafe Ziggy on the Vlas Markt on Kortrijk. We played faster than we ever had before and Peter and I enjoyed that so freaking much! Peter was really a rocker. He was happy to be able to play it hard and heavy and sweaty at that moment. He was always pretty contained but during those 20 minutes he just went for it. I couldn't think of a better last concert to have! The band broke up a week or two later I think and that felt right, but really, really sad. I think Peter and I were particularly sad about it because it was our only band and it really had meant a lot to us. We checked in with each other all the time after that, over the last year, to see if we had found other bands to play in that felt good. Neither of us had. The last three times I saw Peter, we talked a bit about Greyn each time. Actually, I think every time we saw each other, we talked a bit about Greyn. I don't know what made it so meaningful to us. All I know is that is was. Now it has become even so much more meaningful to me because in reflection, it meant I got to see Peter almost every week during those couple of years, which meant getting to know him even better and resulted in having shared something very special with him that I can hold onto in my thoughts and in all the songs we made together...

Sarah adds:
Don't know what to say about the above photo of me and Heidi. See, I am at a loss for words right now. My mind is blank and kind of numb.

Heidi says: These times are hard, even though I didn't know Peter very well, I learned about him through Sarah and Tom, and so I learned what a nice man he was. I also saw him perform several times as I was one of Greyn's biggest fans at some time ;) and I loved the way he played guitar and how Sarah's and his voice sounded together. I know he will be missed with lots and lots of people and so he will be remembered forever.

And last but not least, my late favorite Post Secret of the week. I don't just want to watch. I want to help. I understand those words. I have trouble not being able to help people in need. I don't know how to just sit back and watch. I need to take care of things...

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Wednesday 21 November 2007: It's a sad day to face here at Face The Day...

Sarah says:
Obviously Peter's death yesterday due to a hard battle with cancer is about the only thing on my mind today. My aunt who lost her son to cancer when he was just a bit older than Peter said that after his death she walked around for about a week with dry tears. They only poured out later. There is a sort of numbness that goes with hearing about the death of someone who means a lot to you. Maybe that's the first stage of grief - something like quiet protest or denial - just not believing it's true or something. Last night when the news came I felt frozen at first. Then I fell apart for a moment. Then I quickly felt very angry. Then I calmed down. Today I am back to feeling slightly numb and business-like. Very rational with only brief moments of very deep sadness and despair. Music triggers it. If I avoid music, I can hold it all in.

Maybe grief isn't a process like I imagined it before. It seems to me that you can go through all the stages of grief within five minutes time, like I sort of did last night and then start all over again. We have no choice but to accept this death. What else can we do? But we also have to rage against it and be sad. There's no way around that and nor should there be.

The photo of Peter above is one of my favorites. It was taken at our Greyn photo session in 2005 by Patrice Deweer. It captures Peter. That was a cold day! We kept ourselves warm with way too many chocolate chip cookies and too much coffee. Despite the cold and the waiting and waiting for the good photo opportunities, that day was fun. There were only two shots of Peter taken alone that day, and this is one of them. Now it makes me sad to see it. It's very moving to look at a still shot of someone who isn't here anymore. It makes me think about his spirit. It makes me wonder when he let go.

This song by Antony and The Johnsons called Hope There's Someone has been moving me through this process of grief. The lyrics are so sad. They have made me think of what Peter was going through towards the end. I have no idea if this is how it is and if this is what someone dying thinks about. But it has sure made me think about the process of dying and about Peter's last weeks.

See - I am being so rational right now. It does feel like dry tears. I am glad music like this song can make tears flow and break people down. It's very necessary to break down or it all bottles up.

Antony and the Johnsons - Hope There's Someone

Hope there's someone
Who'll take care of me
When I die, will I go

Hope there's someone
Who'll set my heart free
Nice to hold when I'm tired

There's a ghost on the horizon
When I go to bed
How can I fall asleep at night
How will I rest my head

Oh I'm scared of the middle place
Between light and nowhere
I don't want to be the one
Left in there, left in there

There's a man on the horizon
Wish that I'd go to bed
If I fall to his feet tonight
Will allow rest my head

So here's hoping I will not drown
Or paralyze in light
And godsend I don't want to go
To the seal's watershed

Hope there's someone
Who'll take care of me
When I die, Will I go

Hope there's someone
Who'll set my heart free
Nice to hold when I'm tired

Sarah adds:
There's me and Heidi today. We may look colorful but inside I'm feeling very dark and reflective.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Tuesday 20 November 2007: Rest in Peace Peter...

Rest in Peace our dear, dear friend. We will miss you terribly. You were such a fine man and a good, honest, loyal person who would never hurt a fly. It's so sad and painful to see you go but we are relieved you are finally out of pain. We are so lucky to have known you and to have spent some really meaningful time with you recently. Rest in peace Peter De Wilde...

Monday, November 19, 2007

Monday 19 November 2007: Heidi and Sarah have that Monday sort of feeling today if you know what they mean...

Sarah says:
Just a Monday! Nothing much to report over here in Heidi and Sarah land! The days go fast and the weeks speed along. It's turning wintry outside. Home is cozy but our daily environment is cozy too. No complaints! Tonight has Little House on the Prairie written all over it!

Later on that evening...
Sorry but I am in mega-soup mode! I did it again tonight! A 15 minute soup came out so freaking good man! Heidi served me up some tasty out-of-the-box lentil soup today and it inspired me! I opened my fridge tonight and all I saw was a huge head of cauliflower, which I started to simmer in a little water. Then I thought, wait a sec! I'm not in the mood for just cauliflower! So I looked up the word cauliflower in one of my favorite cook books and came to cauliflower, lentil, leek soup! I remembered some cut up frozen leek I had and a can of lentils. I made my 4 minute handy veggie broth again with two bouillon cubes and 2 litres of water. I poured it over the simmering cauliflower, threw in the frozen leeks and dumped in the canned lentils - added some salt and pepper and a bay leaf or two with a pinch of garam masala. Fifteen minutes later I had a great soup. Oh yeah - I also had a few small potatoes left over from last night's dinner so I threw those into to thicken things up a bit. I also took a hand mixer and let it go for a minute so there were still lots of chunks but also some smooth stuff. The soup was divine I'm happy to say and a simple variation of something out of a cook book! I love when that happens!

So ASG Try out that one and tell me how you change it! It actually sounds like something you already make sometimes and have told me about maybe! By the way folks, ASG's good friend MO had a baby on exactly the same day Heidi's friend Katrijn did! Life is wonderful when it's making life and not taking it away! Thankfully all these babies come into the world - though that doesn't make death one bit easier to swallow really. But thankfully life keeps living nonetheless because without renewal and all that innocence that goes with the little babies that get born and survive all the odds, in the big picture, life wouldn't be worth living I presume... But what do I know!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Sunday 18 November 2007: Heidi's head feels weird...and Sarah feels cold...

Heidi says: I drank some alcohol yesterday, and today my head feels all weird. I think it was cheap alcohol... :)

Sarah says:
Holy Manoli was it cold as a bear today! We went to Diksmuide to see the Sint arrive and to eat pancakes inside the famous IJzertoren thanks to my husband's work, which does some sort of yearly Sinterklaas celebration for all the kids of its employees. Our daughter is feeling a little skeptical about whether or not the Sint and all his weird-looking Zwarte Piet-s really exist or not. I think she started to believe it a little again when the Sint you see in the above photo turned out to be the exact same Sint she had a photo with two years ago. She's at a funny age now. She's between wanting to be a real kid and believe in such stuff and wanting to question everything adults tell her. She had a great day today and is behaving really well, which tends to happen at this time of year - as kids know presents are at stake!

Last night I saw a great film called AUF DER ANDEREN SEITE (The Edge of Heaven). I really recommend seeing this film. It moves slowly like a good book and the acting was tremendous. There was a scene about grief, with a mother mourning the loss of her child. It was so moving and real, capturing the mental and physical anguish, anger and loss of control. It was done so gently.

After the movie we headed to a party and I had a three hour conversation about religion basically and now sort of finally understand a whole lot of things I didn't before about the variations of Christianity and about how religion got brought over to America and how it's distributed around Europe. I knew a lot of this stuff but I always confuse it all. For once it's clear. At least for the moment. And now I know I am an Agnostic. Alas, I didn't dance at the party as we all sat in a room far from the dance floor. But it was a nice night out and a late one at that and today was a good day with the family and the Sint. I couldn't get enough vegetables in my system this weekend!! I have been craving and eating loads of spinach all weekend. I guess my body is low-energy right now and is telling me I need iron. By the way, the chicken I cooked tonight wasn't really cooked all the way through we realized halfway through it - so if we are all ill tomorrow, that will be why! Though so-far-so-good!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Saturday 17 November 2007: Sarah sops up some super Sarah soup and Heidi has happy holidays!

Sarah says:
I don't mean to boast but that soup you see there in that photo up there, my oh my, was it FREAKING good! Not only was it as healthy as can be, but it was also warm and cozy and colorful and it fed my little family well. Even my daughter ate it all up. Wok-soups are my thing lately. They are fast! They are warm on these cold nights! They are pretty! They taste great! They leave no mess other than a cutting board, a wok, a measuring cup that held the bouillon base, three bowl and three spoons. All you have to do is boil two litres of water with two veggie-bouillon cubes in the microwave. While doing that, cook up some carrots, onions, red peppers, flat green peas (they make the soup!), lots of fresh grated ginger (tons of it actually), button mushrooms halved, fresh spinach leaves, a little soy sauce and whatever else you might fancy. I also threw in some small pieces of chicken breast though tofu works just as well. When all of that is soaked up nice after about 10 minutes on high heat, throw in the hot bouillon and cook it all about another 10 minutes maybe? Also throw in some fine noodles such as vermicelli ones or Asian mee noodles. And spice to taste and serve when it feels ready! You'll love it I'm sure!

Believe it or not, I am going out tonight! I so rarely go out anymore as I know life is going to get very, very busy soon so I am enjoying my home time as much as I can while I can. But tonight Marv and I will see a movie with friends and then go to a party and if the music is good I might even dance! It's been so long! Man was there a time I just loved to dance all the time but not in years since my whole back thing. Now a year after my back operation I want to see if it hurts to dance. I have to be careful though. I always have to be careful so I am afraid to "move" sometimes because you never know. I mean look what happened when I lifted up that old lady! It took more than 3 months for the pain to go away. Finally, about 3 weeks ago or so, that pain began to lift and, knock on wood, all seems to be okay - though from vacuuming and mopping yesterday and having my period my hip and lower back has been aching badly today ... anyway - I hope I dance tonight and that I have fun out!!! It's way too easy to become a homebody in the winter. I can't forget to get out there sometimes. When I do go out, I have a great time mostly. We'll see!

Heidi says: Jules is so beautiful!!!!!!!! I love him very much already!
Heidi says: The city of Kortrijk has a birthwood. Every year, for every born child in that year, a tree is planted. Yma has her own tree in that wood since yesterday. congratulations to my little Yma!
Heidi says: Driving to a party, where we will be the DJ's for an hour or two...
Heidi says: freaky huh?

Friday, November 16, 2007


Heidi Says: JULES VERHELLE IS BORN!!! Long live Jules Verhelle!!! You are wondering who Jules Verhelle is? He is the newborn son of my best friend Katrijn en her husband Hans. Jules is very healthy!!! And he is beautiful! (so says his mum; I haven't seen him yet but I believe her!!!!) CONGRATULATIONS to Katrijn and Hans!!! Pictures follow!!!!!!

Sarah says:
HEIDI AND I LOVE RAINBOWS!!!! Do y'all love our own new rainbow! Now we just have to find that pot of gold!


Thursday, November 15, 2007

Thursday 15 November 2007: Sarah gets up-close-and-personal with y'all and so does Heidi...

Sarah says:
Heidi and I forgot to take a photo today again! We are too good busy! We just don't think about it until it's too late! We are doing just fine together everyday! We are a great team! We were talking about how we are going to know each other way too well by the end of all of this... It's fun!

Anyway - I also forgot to take a photo before I took my make-up off at 8:30 pm and got into my PJs. So what the heck, I thought, let me show my pure face, up close, in full light, no make-up, no glasses. Granted, the light makes me look more yellow than I actually am, but that's me folks! In all my glory! And now's as good a time as any to remind you all how happy I am with my hair-removal process! My skin is too ruddy and scarred and imperfect to be really happy about my face, but the whole hair thing isn't even a bother anymore! Just two sessions so far have already made a huge difference! I am not even busy with it all daily It's fantastic! By the time it's all done next year, I think I'll be even happier with it all! And I think I will go for the bikini hair too while I am at it! I can't resist the idea of not having to worry about all that mess of mass come summertime! Great stuff! I am too chicken to get rid of my moustache - though the lady says it would be an easy process - she did warn that the area could get paler and paler from the procedure and then the absence of it would almost be presence, if you know what I mean... So I will hold off on that - and as I have said before, my moustache hair doesn't bother me or make me ashamed so why bother!

Good night!


Heidi says: alright alright! Here I am Sarah! I agree on the fact that it is fun, doing what we do!!! Next to the actual work we do, I also get nice advantages like being able to cycle every day and to swim often. There are few things that I like to do more than swiming. That makes me feel so alive and awake and free and also safe. I love water all around me. I love to move in water. More than in air. Anyway, I do realise I can't be in the water all the time...
Something else I have been doing the last weeks, is working my abs. I am doing crunches every day, about 300 in a row. I have the feeling it is paying off. I get these hard muscles and that is great, because maybe those muscles will help my back get stronger. Let's see if I can get a sixpack, haha (I laugh because I don't think I can ever get that because I have carried a baby...)! Ok, time to go to bed!
Oh, one more thing! The red-nosed reindeer I am kissing, I got from my best friend Katrijn. She is very very pregnant, and I can't wait to see her little baby. It's for any time now, and I trult CAN'T WAIT!!!!! Good good luck Katrijn!!!!

Wednesday 14 November 2007: Heidi and Sarah are better late than never and Sarah makes a wonderful mistake - Marv's her favorite mistake!!!!!

Sarah says:
We're late! Sorry! Did you miss us?!

Something really really funny happened Wednesday! I was at work and at about 4:30pm I was wondering why the ring on my right hand was falling off my finger all the time. I kept pushing it back down. Then I looked at my finger and wondered why I had put my wedding ring on my right hand. When I wear it, which is only every now and then, I always wear it on my left hand - so why was it on my right hand all of a sudden! Then I looked at my left hand and I saw my wedding ring on it and I thought -- what the fuc*!!!! How can that be? I really couldn't figure out what was going on. Then of course I realized that I was also wearing Marv's wedding ring!!! I had mine on one hand and Marv's on the other! It looked so funny! I burst out laughing! Then Heidi did too.

I don't even know why it was so funny. Just the idea I guess -- of being married to myself or something or married to my work... I don't know. It was funny though and it made me feel even closer to Marv!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Tuesday 13 November 2007: A bit of humor, a bit of terror... That's life!

Heidi says: Since Saturday Yma has been getting 4 teeth, and she kept us busy and awake (also at night). That gives the result that you can see on this picture. But: I am happy to be with her, to console her, to love her. Getting teeth is something that has to happen in every life, and she will get through this, and so will we! With a bit of humor, and a bit of terror ;). (I am happy by the way! Some things have changed in my life and they are really good things! Big part thanks to Sra!)

Sarah says:
I'm with you on the humor/terror thing Heiditje! Just look at my mom's book, which just arrived. It's probably full of humor and terror, humor and terror! That's indeed life - a wise man once said! Actually -- my mom's book, which is called, RUDOLPH, FROSTY AND CAPTAIN KANGAROO: The Musical Life of Hecky Krasnow - Producer of the World's Most Beloved Children's Songs, is full of... I don't really know, because I just got it and haven't really read it yet. I did see my name in the foreword along with my daughter's name and husband's name - and it forever associates me with my back operation a year ago -- when my mom was here helping take care of things and writing the book you see before you about my grandfather Hecky Krasnow. I'll let you know what I think about the book once I have gotten through it!

In the meantime, speaking of the terror part of humor/terror - well, some people asked me why I was sad lately so I need to clarify. Let me just say my daily life is going very well. I am so happy with the choices I have made. Everything is taking shape just fine. Each day is exciting and challenging and just love what I am doing - what Heidi and I are busy with each week day! It feels fantastic! My head and inner-demons are another story right now. There's some very sad stuff going on around me and I can't shake it and it's going to last a while. I wake up with it and go to sleep with it and have nightmares about it. It's beyond my ability to control. That's life. That's the terror of life sometimes. I guess that's death. Death is terrifying to watch. And it's sad. Deeply sad.

To relax I often listen to a CD called Ancestral Voices by R. Carlos Nakai & William Eaton with the Black Lodge Singers. This CD along with And No More Shall We Part by Nick Cave are the only two I have on my little MP3 player that ASG gave me long ago. I can't tell you how many times I have listened to these two CDs over and over again. The night before my back operation as I was there unable to sleep I listened to both CDs 8 times. On the plane back from New York last time, I listened 3 times in a row. Tonight, for the first time ever, I took out the booklet from the Ancestral Voices CD and read what was inside. It's calm but often sad music. Very beautiful organic stuff but not new-agey at all - very earthy. Anyway, these words struck me tonight in that booklet I had never explored. I prepared the CD tonight for a friend who can maybe use it to bring her thoughts elsewhere or shut her thoughts down or even make her thoughts clear...
Here's a very simple thought said so nicely from the song Returning As Clouds:

Returning As Clouds

In life, is the rain
That washes the sky
That gathers in streams
That gathers in dreams
That flow like rivers
Back into the ocean
To give birth to clouds
Which become every shape
In the fleeting, changing,
Sky lit circle

Monday, November 12, 2007

Monday 12 November 2007: Heidi and Sarah forget to take a photo yet again and Sarah offers you a self-portrait instead...

Sarah says:
I feel small today. And tired. And worn out. And like my period is about to come. And emotional with tears every other 5 minutes - red-eyed. Storms in my head. Winds in my gut.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Sunday 11 November 2007: Heidi's second half of the day...

Heidi says: Meet Sarrah Cooreman! She is a young fashion designer and a very good friend of a very good friend of mine!!! (okay okay, if you have to knnw, it's Wout!) She has a 'label' called Miss Tinguett for women and another for men of which I forget the name... Sorry Sarrah! Anyway, when she gets famous later, you will have seen her first on face the day! haha!

Heidi says: I just need to show this picture, as I love it so much! Wout in front of his house, waving us goodbye, and when you look inside, you see Alexander and Sarrah...

Sunday 11 November 2007: Heidi and Yma show you their tiger as Sarah watches her little bunny-pighamster rats eat and run, run, run as her head spins.

Heidi says:

Hi Tiger

Teach me tiger how to kiss you.. wah wah wah wah wah
Show me tiger how to kiss you.. wah wah wah wah wah
Take my lips, they belong to you..
But teach me first, teach me what to do..

Touch me tiger when I´m close to you wah wah wah wah wah
Help me tiger I don't know what to do wah wah wah wah wah
I know that you could love me to
But show me first, show me what to do
This is the first love, that I have ever known
What must I do to make you my very own.. ?

Teach me tiger how to tease you wah wah wah wah wah
Tiger, tiger I wanna squeeze you wah wah wah wah wah
All of my love I will give to you
But teach me TIGER.. or I´ll teach you

Tiger .. Tiger.. Tiger..


Sarah says:
Didn't get a chance to clean up the little bunnies' cage yesterday so we did it today and got to see the little piggies run, run, run. The rest of the day was a bit of a whirlwind in my head and my brain is exploding right now. The little girls, Kika and Kike, make me relax. I just love watching those hamster-like things running all around and eating up their veggies like good little rats. It's my "zen" for the moment...Too bad that even though we cleaned up their cage real nice, the whole house smells like poo for the moment and I can't figure out why. I think they were so nervous after their free run that they pooed their bums out!

It's Post Secret time as it's Sunday. There is no good way to know what to say and to know how one feels but I imagine it's something quite close to this...