Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday 27-28-29 April 2009: Heidi and Sarah fall behind on Face The Day - please forgive them. Life is a bit rocky for them!

Sarah says:
"That was a good day. You should see me when I'm depressed." - lyric from Sophia song Leaving. I think that lyric is kind of funny today. I am listening to the new Sophia album right now and it's pretty depressing. I have no problem with depressing music. I mostly even love it. But that lyric jumped out at me and now there are violins are playing and it sounds funny to me when it is supposed to be sad. Maybe I am cracking up by which I don't mean laughing but rather going mad! I'm just joking now. But it is strange. Today was a very hard day but I can't just let myself go and feel it. I'm holding back to protect myself or something. I am a bit numb today but I also just don't feel all that bad. I feel strange and like I am kidding myself! I have no idea. I am a bit confused to tell you the truth! Everything is making me laugh a little today but painfully sort of. Anyway - I'd rather feel like this then depressed again but who knows how I really feel right now! Picture above is from today the 28th of April by the way.

That is one funny photo of Heidi above showing her love for Madensuyu! She's like a big head on a stick up there because of the angle. That photo is from yesterday the 28th of April.

Above is a photo from Monday the 27th of April. Please note that though it looks like I am wearing the same top I am not. It's just the same color! The bottom-top is however the same. Sorry ASG! :-)

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Saturday and Sunday 25 and 26 April 2009: It's a good weekend so far for Heidi and Sarah it seems with nice things to do.

Sarah says:
Above photo was taken Sunday night at De Kreun just before the Madensuyu concert. I have to say that once again Heidi has been totally right on about a band. Madensuyu are amazing! What a freaking great concert. What fantastic music and power and intensity. What a great stage set up. So once again Heidi - thank you for introducing me to the music of this fantastic band. You all should have a listen and check out the latest album called D is Done!

Sarah says:

Above is a photo from today, Sunday the 26th of April 2009. It was a nice morning of having breakfast in the neighborhood for free from the local youth club that my kid is in. We met some friends of ours there and after eating we and Heidi, Nico and Tilly played a board game that none of us had played in a while but that we all enjoy playing a lot. Playing such games is one of the things I love doing most together with good friends. It is so cozy! Great for a late Sunday morning as all our kids were running around. This afternoon I had all to myself - another rare thing - being alone at home. Fantastic! And tonight I'll go to a concert where Heidi will be as well - Madensuyu at De Kreun - with my friend Tilly. It's great to be with friends. Last night was fun too out in Kortrijk with Tilly and her husband. We were all pirates up to no good! It was silly and we all got sleepy but there were a lot of laughs and laughing really feels better than anything at all! So I feel pretty cheerful today on this rainy, chilly Sunday! I don't have to work tomorrow and for the moment, I feel okay about that even though I am not so sure how I will fill up the day other than two appointments I have... We'll see how it all goes and feels! I am such a worker that I have to learn a whole new pace. It's not easy to go at full speed. Have the plug pulled and then just trail along at a slower, sort of aimless pace. Takes some getting used to for sure!

Check out Heidi and Nico's kid Yma above at the breakfast place playing with all those balloons! Very colourful. That kid is very colourful! It was nice to be around all these lively kids and their parents.
There above you can see the little ladies! My daughter and two of my friend Tilly's daughters! They all camped out together near our house without parents around. There was acmping night at the V-tex in our neighborhood and those girls had a great time! MY KID IS ALMOST 10!!!!!!

There above is me on Saturday the 25th of April 2009 taking care of Flat Henry. He has to go back to The States soon to his class with areport on everything he saw and did in Belgium. That gives me something to do tomorrow! We took Henry everywhere with us. There was a BBQ Saturday night at the camping place so he was right there with us.

I have to agree today with the below Post Secret. I just didn't see any that caught my eye today other than this one below!

More photos tomorrow from the Madensuyu gig at De Kreun tonight!

Friday, April 24, 2009

Friday 24 April 2009: It's Friday it's Friday it's Friday!!!!

Sarah says:
Please, please, please give me strength to NOT start biting my nails again and to NOT look to food for comfort and to INDEED get some good sleeps from now on because man do I need them. I toss and turn in my waking and sleeping states these days. Man oh man oh man do I want to bite those nails! They never looked so enticing!!! Arghhhhhhhhh....

Wednesday 22 April and Thursday 23 April 2009: three nights sleep and it's Madensuyu day! May the sun shine through the weekend please!

Heidi says: jippie, jippie, jippie, jippie! I love Madensuyu and they are playing in De Kreun on Sunday and that makes me so happy! They are really one of my favorite bands and I'd say my favorite Belgian band for sure! I cannot wait for sunday!
Sarah says:
The above photo is from Wednesday the 22nd of April and as you can see - the sun was shining upon us! If only the sun would just stay around for a while. When you are feeling fine, the weather isn't as much of a factor but when you are feeling down, the sun can really help to pick you up. We need the sun!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Tuesday 21 April 2009: Heidi thinks of Yma and Sarah thinks...

Heidi says: She'll be alright!

Sarah says: Thinking seems to be all I do these days and it is giving me a bit of a headache... Today I went back in time about 8 years. Strange. Eveything is some kind of circle and all of us are stuck in these circles in some way or another. The circle of life I guess. Circles. They spin my head round and round and round... The question remains: what to do, what to do, what to do?

Monday 20 April 2009: Yma's first day at school!

Heidi says: This is the day my little baby is growing up. Her first day of school. Needless to say that I had tears in my eyes. So did she. My sweet little Yma.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Monday 20 April 2009: Sarah is in limbo...

Sarah says:
I like the above photo. It's in good light - no flash - honest. Today was a kind of non-day! Is a day a day if it lacks meaning? The days pass but I don't know what my goals are anymore and it makes me robotic to a point. It's so weird. I have never, ever felt like this before. I have to come to grips with it all still. I feel aimless and empty. I can't enjoy time off for the moment - it just feels like off time. I feel like the definition of timeis changing and I don't do so well without planning and schedules and knowing at least a little bit what will come next. Right now I don't even want to know what will come next because I'm afraid there will be a big dark hole of NOTHINGNESS that comes next. I know that's not totally true and that something good and right will come along to fill in the dots and the gaps. But right no I have no idea at all what it will be. It's not really exciting. It's scary and a bit numbing. First step is feeling my worth again. That sees to take some time...

Sunday 19 April 2009: Sarah cleans face and cleans mind and starts a new book and thinks about turning 38 soon...

Sarah says:
Sunday is a perfect day for a mask and boy did I need one. My stress or hormones or whatevere has sure made its way to my face! I need some sun and some sleep I think! Sunday was a nice day because the sun was shining, we ate nice food and we visited friends and then went to Peter's grave. The last time we were there was the day of Peter's funeral. It was good to be there again and have some quiet time to refelct and to think about Peter. I treid to sing him some old Greyn songs that we made together but my mind was so blank and I couldn't even remember the songs and tunes and lyrics anymore! It was strange. I hope I continue to remember Peter. Even his grave didn't really feel anything like any part of him. It's only what we keep in our heads I guess - the memories, photos, video...
Anyway - when we got home we were lazy and I took a little care of my skin and we watched Battlestar Galactica. The weekend was calm and okay. Nothing major. All okay.
And I started the above book, which is really meant for my dad but as I was about to send it to him I started reading it and now I'll try to finish it in the next two days or so so I can send it out to him. It's called Last Post and is by Max Arthur. It consists of interviews with the last living UK World War I war veterans. I think out of the 16 or so interviewed, only 3 or 4 are still alive, if even. Above is my Post Secret pick of the week though there really weren't any that caught my eye. I chose this one because my 38th birthday is coming up. I don't care about this or that age but I am feeling kind of lost these days with no idea what to do next and when you feel that way when a birthday is coming you can think too much about it and feel even more lost. I hope I have some ideas by the time my birthday comes!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Saturday 18 April 2009: Sarah is sleep-walking again...

Sarah says:
I'm so sleepy today and my skin is a wreck! Must be some hormonal thing! I just want to close my eyes and fade away for the moment! I think I will do that. Isn't that so very interesting?!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Friday 17 April 2009: Heidi and Sarah are ready for the weekend!!!!! And seriously need some SUNSHINE!!!

Sarah says:
Thankfully it is Friday! Now to plan the rest of my life.... Just joking. Sort of. Kind of. What to do, what to do, what to do? Start reading another book right now! See ya!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Thursday 16 April 2009: Heidi and Sarah want the sun to come back right now and Sarah needs to know which book she should start to read right now!

Sarah says:
The days without much sun are the longest ones... Come back sun! We beg you!

I just finished The Book Thief and want to start another book. I have the above unread ones in my bookshelf. Which one should I start? I really have no idea. Any suggestions? What would you read right now from the above 5?

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Tuesday 14 April and Wednesday 15 April 2009: Sarah ponders what a difference a day makes! HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHERYL ON THE 14TH!!!!

Sarah says:
Today - Wednesday the 15th of April - was a good one as you can see above. I'm relaxed. I got some sun. My head is in the right place;
Yesterday - below - Tuesday the 14th of April - was not one of my best days. not one of my worst either - but my head was heavy with racing thoughts and repeated conversations and fears about the future.
While I can, I think I'll opt for more days like today and fewer like yesterday - if I can. I will certainly try! The SUN helps right now! It really, really helps!

Wednesday 15 April 2009: Viva another sunny day

Saturday 11 april 2009: Heidi hits the carnival(e) with Yma and Katrijn (and Jules and Yana and Tine...)

Monday, April 13, 2009

Friday 10 April to Monday 13 April 2009: Sarah escapes into the joys of reading at a manic pace and it makes her feel GOOD!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY OSCAR!

Sarah says:
That's me above - today, Monday the 13th of April - Oscar Dioniso Smith's 2nd birthday! :-)! Time sure flies. Anyway - as part of my manic reading phase because it keeps my mind off of real life and isn't as depressing as escaping into TV and becoming a couch potato - I just finally started a book my mom sent me called The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. This is the third book I have started reading, been in the middle of reading or finished reading in 3 days! It's the greatest escape all of a sudden. I haven't been feeling happy at all lately. Sitting in front of the TV is too easy and depressing an escape. For some reason, reading has pumped new life into me and has made me feel so much better. But I can't stop and it is so distracting. It's obvious I just want to escape from everyday life right now - I know. But at least my brain is working rather than just going into some dark hibernation!

And there above you can see me yesterday on Sunday the 12th of April 2009 reading My Revolutions by Hari Kunzru. I finished My Revolutions this morning (Monday) and was sad it was over. I had to start another book right away. I recommend this My Revolutions to you all. The story itself is captivating even if you can't relate to it. I think many of you will surely be able to relate to it, which means you will enjoy reading it all the more. Although I grew up in America in the 70s - not the 60s - and the book is about the late 60s and early 70s in The UK and Europe and "revolutions" that were too early for my true grasp, I moved to Europe and met so many politically minded people who were the children of this era and it opened my mind to the want of revolutions... I recognize a lot of people in the book and many ideals and ideologies. Read it if you get the chance!

There I am above on Saturday the 11th of April 2009 taking comfort in a great cup of needed coffee - another great escape! I have loved the pace of these last few days. It's seldom that I just allow myself to be lazy and relax and read. I needed this down time badly. It's been great!

There above you see me on Friday the 10th of April finally finishing the book What Is the What: The Autobiography of Valentino Achak Deng is a novel written by Dave Eggers. I had been reading this book for a few months but never had the time to just keep on reading, which is what this book deserves. Finally I had time to just throw myself fully into it. It is an intense book that finally made me understand a part of the world I heard about in the news but never really followed the news of - that is Sudan. It's a novel fully based on the true stories of Deng and his experience as one of the "Lost Boys of Sudan" who became a refugee during the Second Sudanese Civil War. The book follow Deng's flight and plight through Sudan, Ethiopia and Kenya with his eventual relocation to The USA with almost 4000 other "Lost Boys". The book is a painful and disturbing read and reminds us how little we know about the rest of the world. I didn't know anything at all about Sudan, I am ashamed to admit. While reading the book, I couldn't help but think about how very easy it is to assume you know something about someone. In this case, I mean about political refugees. So many people here in Belgium and all over the world look at so many of the African people here or in other countries as a threat of some sort. This and that are given as reasons - but mostly I guess it is the fear of the unknown. How easy it is to forget or to refuse to see that so many displaced people have nightmarish stories of the worlds they have escaped from. Anyway - this book gave me a million things to think about. I wish everyone could read it. I wish everyone in this whole world of ours could just live anywhere they wanted to despite religious beliefs, wealth, passports, etcetera... A silly and unrealistic thought, I know. But why not? We all have so much to learn from each other and each other's stories...

And last but not least - my Post Secret pick of the week above about life being good and all and how everyone just overreacts. On the one hand, I 100% agree with that. We have NOTHING to complain about over here with our "rich" "western" lives. Even when we lose our jobs, we have a cushion so we don't fall through the cracks! When we get sick, we are protected by health insurance. Life is GOOD!!! We WILL be fine! We complain and get dark about things and lose perspective way too easily and forget how good we all have it - even in times of recession. If we have our health and our loved ones we are already so rich and life is good. With that said, of course, I overreact a lot - too much - I am sure! It is easy to wallow and to lose perspective and I guess we need to just wallow in it all sometimes. But then we just have to get the hell on with it and our cushy lives. I try - lordy knows I try - I wish I didn't have this depressed side to myself - this dark side. I am ashamed of it. We can't always be happy either. I know that. But it's all the complaining and stuff we westerners so... I want to live more simply and learn to be more humble or something. This is what is going through my mind these days anyway... Who knows where it will lead!

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Wednesday 08 April and Thursday 09 April 2009: Heidi and Sarah have a hard life even though they know they have it easier than a lot of people...

Sarah says:
There we are above today, Thursday the 9th, feeling sorry for ourselves perhaps. Perhaps not. These are just hard days for us. Hard life right now. Just a moment in time of bad sleeps and thoughts. This too shall pass and the sun will shine again soon for sure!
There we are above on Wednesday the 8th of April looking like two odd balls. Who knows how to feel these days! These are all new feelings and circumstances. A roller-coaster of emotions really. It makes me tired. My eyes and head hurt. I just want to hibernate to tell you the truth. To press pause... Actually, I'd like to do anything but pause. I want to shine...
As Alfred Lord Tennyson writes in Ulysses (this is exactly how I feel right now...)
How dull it is to pause, to make an end.
To rust unburnished, not to shine in use!

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Friday 03 April to Monday 06 April 2009: Sarah catches up and ponders the future...

Sarah says:
Monday 06 April 2009: Hmmm.... What's next. Any ideas? Road less travelled? Zen? Yin? Yang? Throw the dice? The Harness? Cultivate the garden? Play the game? Hibernate?
Sunday 05 April 2009: Eyebrows just done! But still can't see the light and still can't raise my skeptical eyebrow!
Saturday 04 April 2009: This girl of mine is almost 10! No matter how I feel I have to keep showing her my best self! She's THE sunshine!
Friday 03 April 2009 above and below: Above I just had a whiff of a very, very bad smell! Below, my husband just said something that left me rather baffled...
My Post Secret pick of the week, which will be obvious to those who know what's going on. Man I don't look forward to rejection letters!!!! I'll have to keep reminding myself that I am worthy, very worthy!

Friday, April 03, 2009

Friday 3 April 2009: time to sleep

Heidi says: Yma woke us up last night and today I was very tired. Time to sleep!

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Thursday 02 April 2009 : Heidi loves Flat Henry and is babysitting him today...

Sarah says:
Flat Henry is a very good boy and a very good guest. Today Heidi and I didn't do any work at all. Flat Henry did it all fo us! For that he deserves a kiss! Tomorrow Flat Henry can clean the house! This weekend he can study for me. Flat Henry is GREAT!!!

Thursday 2 April 2009: Heidi's before and after

Heidi says: Which Heidi do you like best? I know which one I like!