Tuesday 13 November 2007: A bit of humor, a bit of terror... That's life!

Heidi says: Since Saturday Yma has been getting 4 teeth, and she kept us busy and awake (also at night). That gives the result that you can see on this picture. But: I am happy to be with her, to console her, to love her. Getting teeth is something that has to happen in every life, and she will get through this, and so will we! With a bit of humor, and a bit of terror ;). (I am happy by the way! Some things have changed in my life and they are really good things! Big part thanks to Sra!)


Sarah says:
I'm with you on the humor/terror thing Heiditje! Just look at my mom's book, which just arrived. It's probably full of humor and terror, humor and terror! That's indeed life - a wise man once said! Actually -- my mom's book, which is called, RUDOLPH, FROSTY AND CAPTAIN KANGAROO: The Musical Life of Hecky Krasnow - Producer of the World's Most Beloved Children's Songs, is full of... I don't really know, because I just got it and haven't really read it yet. I did see my name in the foreword along with my daughter's name and husband's name - and it forever associates me with my back operation a year ago -- when my mom was here helping take care of things and writing the book you see before you about my grandfather Hecky Krasnow. I'll let you know what I think about the book once I have gotten through it!

In the meantime, speaking of the terror part of humor/terror - well, some people asked me why I was sad lately so I need to clarify. Let me just say my daily life is going very well. I am so happy with the choices I have made. Everything is taking shape just fine. Each day is exciting and challenging and just love what I am doing - what Heidi and I are busy with each week day! It feels fantastic! My head and inner-demons are another story right now. There's some very sad stuff going on around me and I can't shake it and it's going to last a while. I wake up with it and go to sleep with it and have nightmares about it. It's beyond my ability to control. That's life. That's the terror of life sometimes. I guess that's death. Death is terrifying to watch. And it's sad. Deeply sad.

To relax I often listen to a CD called Ancestral Voices by R. Carlos Nakai & William Eaton with the Black Lodge Singers. This CD along with And No More Shall We Part by Nick Cave are the only two I have on my little MP3 player that ASG gave me long ago. I can't tell you how many times I have listened to these two CDs over and over again. The night before my back operation as I was there unable to sleep I listened to both CDs 8 times. On the plane back from New York last time, I listened 3 times in a row. Tonight, for the first time ever, I took out the booklet from the Ancestral Voices CD and read what was inside. It's calm but often sad music. Very beautiful organic stuff but not new-agey at all - very earthy. Anyway, these words struck me tonight in that booklet I had never explored. I prepared the CD tonight for a friend who can maybe use it to bring her thoughts elsewhere or shut her thoughts down or even make her thoughts clear...
Here's a very simple thought said so nicely from the song Returning As Clouds:

Returning As Clouds

In life, is the rain
That washes the sky
That gathers in streams
That gathers in dreams
That flow like rivers
Back into the ocean
To give birth to clouds
Which become every shape
In the fleeting, changing,
Sky lit circle