Sarah adds at 8pm: Heidi stopped by just before Oprah came on! I measure my days now by what is on TV you know. Above you can see our setting - me, YMA and Heidi lounging arround, reading hair magazines, gossiping. Eventually we'll start watcing some DVDs together when I have the energy! Tonight Heidi is DJ-ing for the first time since YMA arrived. She'll be at
De Kreun, where a Portland band will be playing. Hopefully it goes well for her. She'll let us know. As for me, I spent the whole day in bed. The whole day! I have had to take some anti-constipation stuff and I ate lentil soup. My intestines are really suffering and giving me the run around. I guess that makes sense considering the whole lot of them were taken out of my body and clamped to the side to maintain order so they could reach my spine to put the disc in. Right now my intestines are basically telling me to screw off. I do think they will work for me tonight though. Let's hope so. I gotta get this out of me!!!! Now sleep calls again...
Sarah says:
Jeez I had such a bad night! I took a pretty heavy pain killer which helped sort of till 1:30 am. From then on I was just tossing and turning again in a lot of pain all over, especially in my legs. I never had leg pain before! That's one of the big differences between having a hernia in your spine and having no disc (or just a little disc) - with a herniated disc there is almost always leg pain with it, which I have heard can be really terrible and uncomfortable. With what I had, called discopathy or
degenerative disc disease there is no leg pain. In fact, if I had had leg pain, they would not have done the surgery on me as it would have had no use. A prosthetic disc is of no use at all when the cause of the problem and pain is a herniated disc. The prostheses is only used when a herniated disc is ruled out as far as I understand.
But now here I am with leg pain!! It's not constant and it could just be from the anesthesia moving through my system still. I don't know. It's early days so I'll just have to ride it out. It just makes it very hard to sleep and very hard to find a comfortable position to stay in day or night. Now I am sitting but I get up every few minutes and I take a break. I get back into bed or I walk around. I am able to get up and down stairs now with no pain surprisingly. The pain starts whenever I stop - stop to sit or to lie down. But I HAVE TO stop because moving around too much is bad for the healing process of where I was cut open (scar tissue) and for the internal cuts and stuff. The more I move around, the easier it is for scar tissue t prop up and muscles and inner wounds to sort of stretch and tear when they should be closing up, sealing and healing.
Last night in my bed I moved on my side and had the first sensation in my lower spine - I could almost feel the prostheses which is set right above my tail bone as you can see if you scroll down a couple of entries (there are two X-rays in entries from 19 December that clearly show the prostheses and the stitches). It made me nervous though I suppose it is normal to feel new things in your body. I need to ask the Dr more about this not being able to jump and not being able to arch backwards ever again as it is bad for the spine now that the fake disc is there. The parameters are too big. I really need to know exactly what I may and may not do. Plenty of sports' people get this operation and go right back to doing sports - such as running. I mean why can you run but not jump? As I understand it, it has to do with both feet hitting the ground hard together at the same time and the impact that has on the "shock" to the spine - the prosthetic disc can't take that and could push itself to deeply further into the spine and puncture something or hit a nerve. As for arching back, I can already feel why that can't be done. The disc just won't allow that movement. It jolts you if you move back to much with the arch of your back.
The prosthetic disc was a better option for me if compared to the more severe "fusion" operation because the fake disc allows movement where as the fusion stops all movement. I am really glad I opted for the fake disc. So far so good. I'll keep you posted.
Here's my favorite
Post Secret entry this week.
For some reason the picture and the text about "all I want" is for her to be honest and happy - well, it brings my 7 and a half year old daughter to mind. She's at this very curious stage in her life - asking about the birds and the bees but afraid and ashamed to also because as she puts it: " a little girl like me asking these big girl questions, my oh my, I feel ashamed..." Something like that anyway. She's happily testing some borders these days, using words like "asshole" and seeing how we react - if we'll get mad... Last night I told her, to her surprise, that not only can she ask me any question she wants but she can also always ask her dad too. She couldn't believe she was allowed to ask her dad about "sexy things" (I can sense some
Borat jokes in the background!). Next to all her natural curiosity about such sexy things is her fear we'll be disappointed in her - maybe about her school report for example and about her asking curious questions, etcetera... Last year and often she did really well in her class, was the first. She keeps telling me that this year she might not be the first. I could care less if she is the first but I am sure she's afraid she'll disappoint us if she isn't! All I know is that like in the Post Secret postcard all I care about is that she feels she can always be honest and that she is happy! I can't imagine I'll ever be able to stay disappointed in her for more than a minute at a time!
By the way, so many people have checked in here and have written emails or called or sent text messages! Thanks so much for all of your concern! I really appreciate it. I'll probably start answering emails and being more in touch next week after my stitches are removed!
Sarah says later in the day: 
Sarah says:
Sarah says:
Heidi says: I finally made it to the atomium in Brussels!!! Hooray! I totally love the atomium! We also saw the Barbie exposition! That was the reason why we went in the first place. Great 50's and 60's Barbies. Very hard not to steal 'em... :))
Sarah says:
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Heidi says: a bath to wash away all the greasy food...
Heidi says: Look! My fluffy pink boots! They are not a christmas present but they sure feel like one cause I got them long time ago and I could only use them starting from yesterday!
Sarah says:
Sarah says:
Heidi says: I have to tell you, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus!!! But still I get nuttin' for Christmas, 'cause mommy and daddy are mad. While all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth... Luckily I saw Rudolph the red nosed reindeer pass and frosty the snowman and Suzie Snowflake told me they would pay me a visit as well... Good! 'Cause I am dreaming of a white Christmas so me and my little family can come out and play in that winter wonderland. 
Sarah says:
Heidi popped by again to say hello and bring some cheer! We are pretty much living our little silly dream at moments of hanging out watching Degrassi High together... We look through magazines and watch TV insulting, saying good things about and just chit-chatting about everyone one we see on the pages and on TV. We are like the old men in the Muppets! It's fun and surely breaks up the days! My brother and his wife sent me the first season of Battlestar Gallactica on DVD. Heidi and I might start watching that together a few times a week in the New Year. Very exciting! (haha)
Yippy!!! Carmen is back in town fom Russia! She and her daughter stopped by for a quick visit! It's so great to see them!!
Sarah says:
Sarah adds at 8pm: Heidi stopped by just before Oprah came on! I measure my days now by what is on TV you know. Above you can see our setting - me, YMA and Heidi lounging arround, reading hair magazines, gossiping. Eventually we'll start watcing some DVDs together when I have the energy! Tonight Heidi is DJ-ing for the first time since YMA arrived. She'll be at De Kreun, where a Portland band will be playing. Hopefully it goes well for her. She'll let us know. As for me, I spent the whole day in bed. The whole day! I have had to take some anti-constipation stuff and I ate lentil soup. My intestines are really suffering and giving me the run around. I guess that makes sense considering the whole lot of them were taken out of my body and clamped to the side to maintain order so they could reach my spine to put the disc in. Right now my intestines are basically telling me to screw off. I do think they will work for me tonight though. Let's hope so. I gotta get this out of me!!!! Now sleep calls again...
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Sunday 17 December 2006: Heidi popped in! I was happy to see her but probably not very good company! Just before, my husband's parents came to the hospital and was fading in and out of sleep, not feeling very well. Lots of pain on the Sunday and very big problems with going, rather not going, to the BIG toilet! I was in agony from it! The pressure was building up in my intestines and pushing on my wound. The nurses gave me two sacks of powder. They didn't work. They gave me drops. They didn't work. They even gave me a Fleet enema! IT DIDN'T WORK!!!!! It was awful, really. But finally, FINALLY!!! Eventually that night I had a little relief with more to follow the next morning. I never thought I'd be able t leave the hospital Monday feeling this way. It made me scared! But on Monday after seeing my new X-ray, the doctor said everything looked good and I should go home. Now I am home and feel glad to be here. I am in a lot of pain, especially at night. My legs are killing me and my wound is aching. But I have no pain in my lower back!!! I am eating normal food again and enjoying it! I am watching TV and reading magazines and fading in and out of sleep. See above post for more details!
Still Saturday 16 December 2006: Isn't this picture from my daughter so nice! I have only made 6 of the 10 wishes so far, so I have 4 left!
Saturday 16 December 2006: Able to crack a big smile, especially with the visit of my daughter and her lovely picture she gave me above! I think they took the catheter out and I started taking normal pain killers with water rather than through a tube in my arm. That night my fever began I think and I was so very sick - or was it the night before? I can't even remember. But it was really awful! I was it so much pain and shaky and had a fever. They waited 6 hours till I couldn't take it anymore and I was ringing the nurses every 20 minutes - until they gave me a shot in my leg with a heavy pain killer. It was fantastic really because it was the first moment in about 2 year that I had no pain whatsoever! I was in lala land. Totally lovely!
Friday 15 December 2006: Day after the operation. Still on pain killers galore through my arm and peeing through a catheter with blood sack draining my wound. Very uncomfortable but still alive and kicking, just barely though. Nice eyebrows! Glad I had those done the day I checked into the hospital!
Thursday 14 December 2006 around 4pm: Surgery had been at around 8:30 am that morning. I got through recovery and my husband and mother visited me in the afternoon. I was very pale and sickly looking and in a lot of pain but obviously had enough energy to still take this photo! Actually, the pain wasn't that bad thanks to the heavy pain killers at that moment!
