Thursday 7 January 2010: Life part 3 and so on and life with a chronic back problem...

Sarah says:
I can't really take it anymore to be honest. I am in despair. Since I woke up Wednesday, my back has been hurting and as much as I have been taking care of it, it only feels like it is getting worse. It's the same quick, jolting nerve reactions as I had this summer and before, which makes it hard for me to move freely. I didn't do anything in particular to bring this on. I was very cold all day Monday and Tuesday and tried to warm up at home each night and Wednesday morning I woke up with mild pain that just got worse and worse all day. Today it is really bad. I am able to work from home thankfully because at least that way I can rest my back here and there and use hot-water bottles and take pain killers. But I am really afraid that I'll have to check into the hospital this weekend like I did this past summer - to receive pain killers through an IV and to get care and rest so that I can get through a few more months. I know there's a possibility of my needing an operation for the hernia that showed up this past summer but I am in no way ready to have an operation yet. I feel too weak. I don't think my body or mind can take another operation so if I have to go into the hospital every now and then with non-pain months in between then, well, that is how I will have to live for a while. I can't pretend I'm not depressed - even devastated to be honest. I feel sad and awful and dark. I wasn't ready for pain to come back into my life so quickly and I really fear my physical future. One day I won't be able to walk anymore - that's a big fear! Anyway - I'll get my spirits back one of these days. I guess I'm just feeling tired, in pain and a bit sorry for myself...

Heidi says: I am tired and can hardly get out of bed in the morning. I think I am not the only one who has these difficulties. The weather is really cold here, which I really like, but it makes you a bit tired and makes you want to sleep more. Today I am putting away our christmas tree. It makes me sad. I love the Holidays, the warmth of it all. Putting away the christmas tree is saying that the holidays are over. Luckily I have something else to look forward to. Something a lot bigger than the holidays! 19 February is coming!

Wednesday 6 January 2010: life part 2

Heidi says: I did a lot of prep work for the birth this morning! A lot of putting addresses into an access file. I feel accomplished. I try to do some prep work every day. It feels like I am having a part time job. This picture shows that I'd better not wear turtleneck sweater for now. :-) If it weren't so cold outside...

Tuesday 5 January 2010: life and cold, cold living

Sarah says:
My office is having heating problems - started yesterday and remain to day. I am shivering and cold! It isn't nice. I wore my hat, scarf, coat, two sweaters and my gloves most of the day Monday inside and Tuesday too. I feel Ike I will never warm up again. I guess I am a weak person. I have a head cold now. I wish I were stronger and could take the cold better!

Heidi says: My life these days is: sleeping, getting Yma to school, resting, TV, reading, sitting at the computer, getting Yma from school, cooking, TV, sleeping.

But in between all this, I managed to buy a share from Ecopower yesterday, and to sign and send a contract for 100% green electricity to Ecopower today. Very proud of this move. Finally. I also checked some other urgent things and will be busy with envelopes, stamps and addresses very soon. Yesterday evening, the doctor checked our baby and he told us he weighs 2550 grams. That means he is almost ready to be born. I have six more weeks to go though. SIX! He also weighed me and on the scale I saw 80,1 kilos. I turned a bit pale I think. I gained 23 kilos already and I have six more weeks to go! What will I have gained by 19 February???

Saturday and Sunday 02 and 03 January 2009: Last weekend of vacation...

Heidi says: HAPPY NEW YEAR! I wish more green power, more peace, less terrorism and a beautiful good baby boy for us :-)

Sarah says:
That me above today in a new dress I bought yesterday in Gent at the "WE" during the sales. We took my mom to the airport very early yesterday and then headed straight for Gent. It started with just a few people at 8:30 am and then by 9 am it was crazy busy. Our plan was to get in and out as fast as possible but we ended up staying till past 5pm! We had lunch at the Irish Pub in Gent and had a nice family day together - consuming indeed but that's okay every now and then! It was nice to try clothes on being a size smaller than before. :-)

Tom granted my wish a grew a two-week beard during our holidays! I LOVE it and I hope he keeps it! He needs to learn how to trim it without shaving off the whole thing. That's the hard part! I think it looks great on him.

That's me above at 6am Saturday morning the 2nd just before we left to take my mom to the airport. Not bad for 6am I'd say! I slept till 11:30 am this morning. I have been sleeping late this vacation. It's been grand! But now it is after 11pm and I have to get up early tomorrow and I am not tired at all! It's back to work and to normal life tomorrow! It will be good to bike again and eat well again! Although tomorrow there will be lots of ice so I will get a ride to and from work so I don't risk falling off my bike!

It's been a while but above you can see my favorite Post Secret of the week. I can so relate to this - it's why I take photos every day or everything and everybody! Lives change so fast and people in your life change so fast. One day here and gone tomorrow. I am not very nostalgic but I do like to keep track of life and photos help me to do that. I like to look back at photos and let memories of those times and people come back to me. If I think about this time last year - well, a lot has changed since then as well as has stayed the same... If I look at my photo wall in my hallway downstairs - lots of people I thought I would always know are gone already! That's life! Life can sure be bittersweet. But just as people go, new ones enter and that makes it all okay but thankfully there are photos to remind you of days gone by... Cliché, I know, but true! Also - Ayla is changing so very quickly! I am so glad I have a lot of photos of her. It's fun to look back with her and see how she has evolved!

Friday 01 January 2010!!!!!!!!!!! Let's look back as it is Flashback 1st of the month at Face The Day and the 1st of a new year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sarah says:

Happy New Year! Happy 2010! Above you can see how tired I was because we stayed up until about 4am and only slept till about 11am. I am still in my PJ's and it's almost dinner time. It's a very lazy day at the end of a very lazy vacation! My mom will leave very early tomorrow morning, we will then do some sales shopping and then Sunday will come fast and it will be quickly back to normal life. It's been a good 2 weeks with my family! My husband and daughter have been home and my mom has been here and it has been a good pace. Man I love my husband and kid!!! It's so nice being with them. I just feel so close to them both right now. It feels good and it feels right. It's a nice feeling to start the new year with! I'll be sad to see my mom go - like every year - my daughter gets sad and I get sad because the house gets a little empty. But as real life begins again I have some good stuff to look forward to in 2010!

Okay - so the above photo is sort of a fake because it wasn't taken on the 1st of January 2010 but on the 27th of December 2009 - all because for the first year in a very long time - Tom's friend Dirk could not come on New Year's so he came the week before. We had to take our yearly photo of course and I am posting it here for consistency-sake!

All the rest that follows below is copied from the last year and the year before...

Sarah says:That's me and Dirk - my husband's best mate exactly one year ago today on the 1st of January 2009 - you can go back via this link. For the last 6 years he's come to our home on New Year's Eve and for the last three years we have taken a photo together on the 1st! First we eat french toast made by my mother and then we take a photo. It's always great to start a new year with Dirk. He's a cheery, fun-loving bloke!

That's me and Dirk above two years ago on the 1st of January 2008!

And that above is me and Dirk three years ago today on 01 January 2007!

There above you can see Heidi and me on 01 January 2006! Seems like ages ago! I can hardly remember that night anymore.

And there's Heidi above on 01 January 2007! I think it was 2007. Heidi?

By the way - two years ago on 01 January 2008 I put the below text on Face The Day as a reflection on life at that time and the new year to come. I stand by it and put it here again because it still rings true and I am still trying my best to live a more simple life and a quieter life full of quality, not quantity. I wish everyone a lot of peace and quiet and love and more rushes of joy than flashes of pain in 2010!

Sarah adds: Here's it is from my post two years ago (and re-posted last year):

Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now!~Michael Landon - Pa Ingalls

We who live in quiet places have the opportunity to become acquainted with ourselves, to think our own thoughts, and live our own lives. - Laura Ingalls Wilder

...but, at long last, I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all...I believe we would be happier to go back to simpler living and more direct thinking. It is the simple things of life that make living worthwhile, the sweet fundamental things such as love and duty, work and rest and living close to nature. There are no hothouse blossoms that can compare in beauty and fragrance with my bouquet of wild flowers. -Laura Ingalls Wilder

I'd add: Live well and be well in 2010 (2008!) (2009!) people and spend time doing stuff that matters with people that matter and not wasting time and thoughts on all the stuff that doesn't mean squat. Consume less -- because we don't need half the things we think we do.By 2010 (2011! ), I hope my family life is just like it is now. I hope I am singing again and on stage. I hope my work life is successful and feels good and challenging. I hope health abounds. I hope all the people who mean the world to me have more joy than pain. Simplicity is what I am after this year...

Thursday 31 December 2009 and the first moments of Friday 01 January 2010!!!!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

Heidi says: us!

Sarah says: Happy New Year Everyone! I hope 2010 is a goody for you all! The above photo was taken just after 2010 started early, early this morning! The Lool and I outside watching the fireworks, which were going off in every direction! We had some good girlfriends and their kids over and had nice New Year's Eve. I hope 2010 will truly be a goody! I guess I hope that every year about every new year! More joy than pain tends to be my yearly motto. For me and for everyone! We can only all hope for more moments of happiness than moments of despair! 2009 was an okay one with many good things for me and for mine but also with some serious challenges. I hope 2010 takes me somewhere further. No idea where or what - just throws some interesting stuff my way! And in the direction of all those I love and well, everyone!

Above you can see Ayla and me just before 2009 turned into 2010!

And above is a photo of us from the same exact time one year ago as 2008 was about to become 2009. That kid of mine makes my year worthwhile every time! She is a GOODY! Via this link you can journey back to a year ago exactly...
Above you can see my 2010 New Year's Resolution! "More Joie de Vivre - Less Weltschmerz!"

And last but not least to say goodbye to 2009 and to welcome 2010 - some lovely fireworks!

Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday the 26th - 28th December 2009: Sarah is busy on vacation...

Above photo is from Tuesday the 28th of December with tired eyes from staying up late - being lazy! It's been a lazy holiday! I am very busy being lazy!

Photo above is from Monday the 27th of December. Like my new hair?

Above and below photos are from the New Wave party we went to Saturday the 26th of December - with make-up and almost without make-up.

And there's Ayla above at the sea on Sunday the 27th of December. We hopped on a train with a bunch of friends and went to the sea on a rainy day with hail! It was fun!

Thursday and Friday 24 and 25 December 2009: Merry Christmas from Sarah, Tomske and Ayla!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! That's me above on Christmas reflecting into my new bracelet from Carmen and her family! We had a great Christmas day at their house of course as usual!

That's Tomske and The Lool above wishing you all very happy Holidays!

And that's me above on the 24th of December weighing in! We had a really nice time Christmas Eve at Tom's parents' home! It was fun fun fun!!

It's been a really nice and relaxing holiday so far!

Wednesday 23 December 2009: The holidays are starting with lots of cookies and fudge! :-)

That's Ayla and me above on the 23rd of December full of cookie and fudge sugar! Above photo also from the 23rd. Not sure if I mentioned on here yet that I got weighed at the Obesity Center Tuesday afternoon and my BMI has dropped from the "obese" category to the "over-weight" category - so that's good news! I haven't lost many more kilos since my last report but I have lost as much fat as kilos according to the fat test yesterday - which the dietician says is great! So I am happy about that! I have 5 more kilos to go by March (11 pounds). I am sure I will get there! I am eating a bit more these days because of vacation and the holidays and the cold - but I will get back on track and throughout I am keeping up the exercise so I feel okay about it all!

COOKIES AND FUDGE FOR EVERYONE!!!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Saturday, Sunday and Monday 19, 20 and 21 December 2009: It's still snowy in Belgium and the holidays are in the air!!! Yippy!

Later that day... That's me and Heidi tonight. She came over for dinner with Nico and Yma. It's always nice to see them! Tom and I got home just in time from Brussels, where we went to get my American passport renewed. I am passport-less till end January and therefore cannot leave Belgium until then! It's a strange feeling!!!

There's Heidi above - pretty pregnant! She's growing and growing! And glowing and glowing.

Me above in Brussels today. I always think it's funny when you park your car in a city and just happen to be parked right under this amazing building such as the cathedral in the photo. That's Europe for you! That cathedral in Brussels is just beautiful - even more so on a snowy day!

There's Ayla above with her big, blue eyes! Can she be my kid?

There's Yma above with her big smile!

Happy Holidays to everyone! The above photo is from today - the 21st ! I ave to go to Brussels to get my American passport renewed today and I have to pick up my new Belgian ID. Tonight Heidi, Nico and Yma are coming over for dinner so I hope I don't get stuck in Brussels thanks to ice and snow! Lots to do today! Have to get going!!!

That's me and Ayla above - yesterday the 20th. We had just baked cookies. We are getting in the holiday mood now! Always something baking! Man I am afraid to get weighed tomorrow! It's not going to be good! I also have to be measured and all! Ahhhh! This is a bad, bad time of year for dieting as hard as I am trying!

There was a reindeer outside our window last night!

Holiday decorations finally went up yesterday as cookies were baking in the kitchen!

That's me above on Saturday the 19th.

That's me above on Sunday the 20th I think or maybe it's the other way around. I don't know anymore!

Thursday 17 December 2009: Let it snow let it snow let it snow!

Heidi says: Snow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I am really dreaming of a white christmas!

Christmas, aaaah, christmas. I don't think there is any time of year that makes me so nostalgic and so warm inside as christmas and the holidays. There is something about christmas programmed in me since my early childhood. I used to love the whole atmosphere around it when I was little and I never stopped loving it. It has something to do with what we did as a family. We always celebrated with first going to church for the christmas mass, then with a nice dinner and only after midnight we gave each other presents. We always had a christmas tree and we would only decorate the tree when the whole family was there and ready.

At school there was a good christmas atmosphere too. I remember practising christmas songs with a little choir of school children for a week or two and then finally singing those songs in church at the christmas mass (yes, i went to a catholic school). Those moments were so nice, and the memories of them are so valuable now. You could call me a nostalgic person. But there was more to it. I also programmed an idea of what christmas should be in my head by watching american movies. Which made me believe from early age on that we weren't doing it completely right, the celebrating I mean. In my head, it had to be even cosier, with more people, with singing mellow songs standing around the tree... I regret that I watched those movies then and got so carried away that sometimes I didn't realise at the moment itself how wonderful our christmasses were. Because I know now. But now is too late.

So, here's the deal: I have to enjoy these moments now! I am home, I have a beautiful christmas tree, I have nice (exotica lounge and a very nice fifties compilation from Sarah's mom Judy) christmas music, I have SNOW, I organised a christmas walk for Yma's school which is happening tomorrow, I have friends and family who also love christmas... It's time to enjoy CHRISTMAS!

Sarah says:

I liked Heidi's text above and it made me want to generate a word cloud of it so here it is and it could be a Christmas card in itself! :-)

around atmosphere carried celebrated childhood children choir christmas church dinner early enjoy exotica family going happening head heidi home judy love mass moments movies nice nostalgic people practising presents programmed realise really regret remember school singing snow something sometimes songs think tree used valuable walk warm watched whole wonderful yes

created at TagCrowd.com

My mom arrived this morning and brought the snow with her from Michigan! I have to say that we both look pretty good for not having had much sleep. I woke up really early to a snowstorm but luckily the highway was pretty clear and my mom's plane was more than 2 hours late!
Ayla was of course happy to see her grandma at school when we went to pick her up.
And my mom was happy to see Ayla of course!
That's me above at 6am this morning trying to figure out if I should head out into the snow or find a plan B. I took the chance and all was okay! It's getting more dangerous now that it is getting colder!
And above the very lovely snow this morning on my street! :-) If you want to see more photos of this morning's first Belgian snow click into this photo album!