Thursday 02 August 2007: Sarah is waiting for her backache to go away and is getting frustrated BUT trying to eat well while home and to be HAPPY!..

Sarah says:
Forget my back pain, which hasn't gone away or really diminished since I stupidly lifted that old lady up who fell Monday afternoon... I have to make sure my brain stays in order and that I don't let this new back pain get me down! That's a hard job. I just have to keep thinking I'll wake up one of these days soon and not feel that nag and pull on my lower back - and that I'll be able to bend again and all that good movement stuff. This feeling of going backwards in time defeats me. It's a real battle in my mind. I have to get over it and really believe that anyone who tried to lift an old lady, bad back or not, would have some muscle strain because of it for a few days or week. I guess I can handle this until next week - that seems like a normal time for a muscle pull to heal. If this ache goes on beyond that I'm gong to really get depressed. But for the moment, while I am stuck at home I'm going to try to take good care of myself and eat well and read good books at least. Today I started with a delicious fruit salad that you can see below. Lots of fruit (melon, apples, blueberries, grapes) plus almond slivers and a scoop of cottage cheese with a dash of Cinnamon. My friend CK taught me this recipe when she lived in Belgium - now she lives in California... Anyway, it's supposed to be very healthy and to give you energy and everything you need so here I go. I hope it makes good chemicals run through your brain as well because I need some happy food to lift my spirits up a bit. It's just hard to make everything relative right now. I know in the big picture this backache is just a tiny little thing and that there are far worse things that could happen. I really know that. But still -- this sucks in my little world right now. This does not feel good at all and I can't really see any good in it. I just want it to go away fast!

Speaking of happiness, I'm busy reading a book ASG lent me called: The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt. Via that link and after registering, I came to a bunch of tests to see my general happiness and my happiness now and out of 1 to 5, my general level of happiness is 3.8 apparently and right now out of 1 to 10 my state of happiness is 8! So if there is any truth in all that, I am doing quite okay for the moment. As for the "grit" survey, I get a 3.3 out of 5, which means I am a little more than average when it comes to courage and perseverance. So I guess I'm on a good track but who knows! My stupid back determines everything for the moment...

Regarding the Happiness Book - I am happy to be reading it right now. I just finished a book about death and grief so it's interesting to be reading a book about how to be happy just after that. Haidt basically says we can be happy through meditation, cognitive therapy and Prozac! Not sure I agree with all that yet but what's interesting about his book is that he describes so many lab studies of people. These studies are meant to learn things about human nature. Basically we are all self-serving, gossipy and greedy people who to function in a group have to learn reciprocity and how to relate to others... There's a lot more to it than that and I have to read many more chapters still. The book also says our brain shape and make-up determines how happy we are can be so some people get a happy brain and others don't - that's where Prozac can really help... How we relate to others is really important too. Anyway, if you are interested in being happier, check out this link...
I am happy to report that I think I was born with a brain that is pretty content. I have a dark side - don't we all - but I rebound pretty quickly - if I am reading this book right - so I hope I rebound from this back pain in my brain too soon and to get on with my life!