Monday, March 24, 2008

Monday 24 March 2008: Sarah is back home and tired after a great weekend away! The only thing bothering her is her Dutch!


Sarah says:
Home sweet home! It's always nice to come home even after a fabulous weekend. I just love being at home! I'm tired and have a busy week ahead!

I chose the below Post Secret this week not because I agree with it, because I don't - not completely anyway - but because I'm feeling frustrated by my own Dutch and I do understand why people can really have trouble speaking a foreign language. Sometimes you even can speak it but you are afraid to with certain people. Sometimes you try your best to speak it and people clearly have no idea what you are saying. Sometimes you have moments of total clarity and speak it almost perfectly. Language is my single biggest frustration in my life. It's the one thing about living abroad that can truly make me feel miserable and totally self-hateful. It comes and goes. I just totally suck at languages as hard or as little as I try. I feel dumb in Dutch. Not always -- I mean, for some reason I don't have such a problem speaking Dutch for business with strangers. But it is so hard with people I know!!! I don't know why really but it drives me mad! I can speak Dutch. No doubt about that at all!! But with friends and loved ones I mostly can't formulate one good sentence and it drives me mad and sad!! It's still something I need to get over but it is the one freaking thing I hate about myself and I hate about living in Belgium. I will never, ever feel smart in Dutch and that sucks. Hence the below Post Secret! Don't forgot how hard it can be to learn a language and to integrate into another country. Even after 12 years you have these moments of feeling not only like a complete idiot but also like a total alien who will never, ever really fit in or be embraced by the place...


Heidi says: I started to do some jogging three days ago. I am posting it here, so that you can be my witnesses and you can make me go on with it! I am doing it all alone. That makes me feel free and capable (if I jog with someone else, I feel inadequate because I can't follow :) ). I will try to jog a couple of times a week and to have 2 resting days... Today my muscles feel sour. Tomorrow I will jog again! The world is mine!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wel, dat heb ik nu ook zie ... als ik tegen jou praat voel ik me vaak nogal dom en onbeholpen, net omdat ik me zo gebrekkig en weinig subtiel en genuanceerd kan uitdrukken in jouw taal.
V.

Anonymous said...

Vally, vergeet niet dat jij Nederlandstalig bent, en dat je Engels geleerd hebt op school, en niet in een taalbad in een Engelstalig land, terwijl Sarah Nederlands heeft geleerd door een taalbad te nemen in een Nederlandstalig land, als je begrijpt wat ik bedoel. Wij hebben het allemaal op school en van TV geleerd. Ik zou zeggen 'chapeau voor ons!'. Echt waar!
x
Heidi