Sunday 19 February 2006: Sarah poses with a mouse that's been ripped apart. She also shares her biggest secret and later Heidi gives a surprise visit!

Heidi says:
A nice cosy easy Sunday, with a stop at Sarah's house...

Sarah says:
So I went to the nature and science museum in Brussels with my kid. There were a lot of potential Face The Day guests to choose from there. I got a shot with pretty butterflies, cro-magnum man, a big-fat cow's heart, a fish head -- but I had to go with this mouse shot. Despite being a bit over-exposed,I thought this mouse was quite cute and disgusting all at once. I also am taking a big chance here and showing you the results at the museum of a healthy weight and height test. I haven't gotten on a scale in ages -- since I was pregnant. I simply don't want to know. It hurts me to know my weight. Too painful. But with that said, I am sick of thinking I am too fat all the time. I hate that struggle! Two things happened this weekend to make me feel a little better about my weight. My doctor, when I asked him for a way to lose weight because I have been so afraid that my lower back pain also comes from my being too fat -- well my doctor just said that I am okay how I am. That I am healthy and that I'll never be a thin person. He basically said I should not be so hard on myself, should not go on fad diets and should stop blaming myself for my weight. That felt good to hear from a doctor. Made me less self-hateful for a moment. Then at the museum, I took this weight and height test and it came up that though I am overweight, I am not sickly overweight. So that helped me feel a bit better too. I have been very hard on myself lately because I don't feel great half the time because my back hurts a lot. All of that feeds into self-hate. I am sort of sick of self-hate. With that said, I still think I am way too fat and will always want to lose weight and be thinner. But at least today I can shara my weight (in kilos) with no shame and just think, oh well, that's me, I have to live with it and accept it -- and today I do. Tomorrow I might not again. But today I do.

In the past I would also never have showed anyone my face without make-up! And look above, there I am with tired eyes and no make-up at all! Heidi showed up and I was already ready for bed! We took a photo. Here it is and I could care less that you see me with no make-up! Maybe one day I'll also just really accept my weight and all and feel as comfortable and worry less about how fat I am! Starting with today maybe and the other photo above.

So in that way -- it's been a good day for my self-loathing!