Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Tuesday 06 November 2007: Heidi and Sarah are Heidi and Sarah are Heidi and Sarah...Same old! Same old!

Sarah says:
I'm not getting much sleep lately. Last night I had a major, major nightmare, which is rare. It woke me at 5 this morning and I have been up ever since. Every night it's quite the same - all these thoughts cramming my head. Conversations in my head. Scenarios. It's tiring and disturbing at times. My dream last night was just awful. It ended with me screaming at Marv and hitting him and spitting at him. There's no reason for that. Me and Marv are fine. For that matter, though it was Marv in my dream, it didn't have Marv's face. And the man in my dream was evil and mean.

My head is functioning fine by day because I have enough good distractions. But at night, man does it turn on and turn up loudly and my heart beats a little faster and I breath a little harder.
The below PJ Harvey song from her new CD White Chalk comes to mind...

PJ Harvey - The Devil

As soon as I'm left alone
The devil wanders into my soul

And I pretend to myself
And I pretend to myself

I go out
To the old milestone
Insanely expecting
You to come there
Knowing that I wait for you there
That I wait for you there

Come here at once
On a night with no moon

Because all of my being is now in pining
All of my being is now in pining

What formerly had cheered me
Now seems

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