08 October: Sarah can't sleep because she's a Zita Swoon freak http://www.zitaswoon.com and saw the best gig of theirs ever last night at Le Grand Mix in Tourcoing http://www.legrandmix.com/ and can't get it out of her head. A while back, Heidi and Sarah saw Zita Swoon at FNAC in Lille and the band were kind enough to let them take photos of their mulle and tote with each of them. Well -- Heidi and Sarah's old blog got hacked and disappeared into cyberspace. Luckily, they saved some of the photos, like the above ones of some of the members of Zita Swoon.
Little does Heidi know that Sarah met a girl at the gig that looks a lot like Heiditje. What would Sarah do in this situation? Check back later to find out (and to see the photos ;-).
Heidi says (as Sarah imagines because Heidi is getting her beauty rest around the corner):
Sarah you sick, obsessive Zita Swoon freak. Go to sleep. Freak. Sick. Obsessive. (but I understand because I would do the same if it were Viva Voce http://www.vivavoce.com/ ;-). And by the way, doesn't my hair and Sarah's hair look much better now than it did last May when we took the above photos with Zita Swoon?
Sarah says:
I am sorry. I can''t help myself. Anyone who saw that Zita Swoon gig last night at Le Grand Mix in Tourcoing will understand why I'm sure. It was fantastic! The best I have seen in 10 years no doubt! They really do just get better and better. They took some of their old songs and re-did them a bit and fuckin' hell to life man they blew me and most of the audience away. It was non-stop energy and synergy and everyone lived happily ever after last night there on stage and in the audience. I do wonder if our dear Heiditje would like Stef's new haircut. It's still mullet-like, but shorter in the back. Tom Pintens had some Robert-Smith-like hair moments last night http://http://www.thecure.com/. And the two female singers looked beautiful as ever in the fancy window-curtain dresses they were wearing (sorry but mostly we just talk about hair on this site and shallow things like eyebrow plucking, fashion and facials).
Anyway, damn was it a great show!!!!! I was afraid that they would do an encore with the Violent Femmes number Add it Up http://www.vfemmes.com/ -- and for christ's sake, they did and did they ever!!! Those of you who check this site (all 5 of you!!!), know that this messes with my head because my band Greyn http://www.greyn.net have been doing a cover of this song for a year now at our gigs. When I heard that Zita Swoon was now doing this song it stirred up stupid envy feelings in me and frustration but I couldn't explain why. Now I can though: Being a fan is fun but actually sucks because what it means is that you like something, in this case a band, so much that it almost hurts (cliche I know, but true!) -- and you listen to them and watch them with AWE. You like the music so much but you can't really have it -- it's for everyone, but you feel when you are listening like it's sort of yours alone to have and feast on -- you can taste it, you almost hoard it -- but of course it's not - it belongs to everyone, that's the great thing about music. You also love it so much that you want everyone to love it. Like when you see a beautiful mountain or sunset -- you don't want to do that alone-- you want to share that and confirm it's real. So you push the band (in this case) on everyone saying how great it is and you keep it for yourself at the same time. It's really strange actually. I honestly wonder what it is in our evolution that makes us worship idols. I mean I don't "worship" anything, and certainly not Zita Swoon, but why do people become fans? Why do we feel so strongly for things like bands or stars or whatever. It's a very odd feeling. It almost can make you ashamed of yourself.
So when you are in a band yourself, you can see a band you love and be so amazingly inspired by them that you just want to have a rehearsal every night for a year and try to make such fabulous music and try to capture the energy you so admire , etcetera. And then when they play a song that your own band plays it's like SLAP!!!! The other thing happens, the opposite thing, you just think, fuck, if they are 100% then my band is like 1% and we'll never have what they have up there on stage or play music like they play music, so why bother! Greyn's version of Add It Up is a good one I am sure but it ain't what Zita Swoon is doing, that's for sure. I don't know -- seeing Zita Swoon last night doing that song and all the songs they did (so many amazing ones new and old re-worked ones of their own and some covers including Raining Pleasure by The Triffids http://home.tiscali.be/the.triffids/ ) just made me realize that I am their fan / admirer / attentive-listener and watcher because they do what they do so perfectly well. They do something that I have always dreamed of doing but just can't reach. People who know I like Zita Swoon and who know me always think I just have some silly crush on Stef Kamil Carlens or something. It really isn't that at all. I want to BE him if anything. I want to be able to do what he does. To sing like he sings. To move like he moves. To write like he writes. To dress like he dresses. To conduct and arrange music and shows like he does. To be a frontperson like he is and not appear arrogant or all about ego and me me me. How does he do that? So this is perhaps why people through the ages have worshipped idols and why fanclubs exist. You just watch something in awe and can't work it out or get near it and want to be it basically and have what it has -- the talents. You don't know what to do with these odd emotions so you just keep saying you love the thing (in this case the band) and you become a "fan" and often a "freak".
So I left the gig last night thinking I had been treated to the best gig of my life so far and feeling like my band Greyn was peanuts compared to Zita Swoon's caviar. It was a great, great evening which left me feeling full and empty all at the same time. One thing is for certain though, I am now more of a Zita Swoon fan than ever and one day, mark my words, I will sing a song with Stef Kamil Carlens (maybe in my head only as they take me away in a straight jacket and load me up on anti-insanity medication just before they take out part of my brain and mark my mental-health file with the words: "lost cause").
Is this what PJ Harvey http://www.pollyharvey.co.uk/ meant by her lyrics; "Happy and Bleeding"? I wonder (other than the obvious loss-of-virginity references in that song).
Have a great weekend and check back soon for the surprise photo of French Heidi #2.
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