Sunday, September 09, 2007

Sunday 09 September 2007: Happy Birthday to INE if she's reading this and Sarah has only a smile for y'all today... Where's Heidi?


Sarah says:
I'm starting to think my haircut is turning out okay! It just needed a little time. My skin is slowly clearing up too though it won't last long. And I look awake. I'm glad I look okay on the outside because on the inside I'm feeling a little lost today - so there you have some balance. I don't know what's going through my head right now. I think this happens every mid-September - just before autumn starts - as the days get colder - you just get a little darker inside and have a little Nietzsche dark-hole dip - at least I do. I think that's what I'm feeling right now. Good thing is it always passes...

Below is my Post Secret pick of the week. It just reminds you about how precious life is and that every word counts - or at least should - because you never know when it's the last word. Random. Unpredictable. Unfair! Screwed up! Those are just some words that come into my mind when I think about that thin-line between life and death. We really do waste so very much time of frivolous shit. I wish we could all be our best selves more of the time rather than the petty assholes we all so often become at times. I wish we really did treat every day as a gift and seize the day and all that. But we don't! We take everything and everyone for granted most of the time and are only blessed with scattered moments of deep feeling, connection and thought. I know, I know - how else can we live - we just simply live - and that's how we do it - moving through our days like there is always a tomorrow. If we didn't all live that way - well, we'd be totally lost and screwed I suppose. But I still wish there were a way for us to cherish each other more and spend more time on who and what's important and less time on gossip and back-stabbing and seeing people as bad because they see life differently than maybe we do. Mankind is such a strange and often rude beast.

See - I told you I was feeling darker than usual today! Incidentally - my theory about these dark holes we slip into from time to time - that I do anyway - well, my theory is that they are always triggered by some sort of self-doubt I'm experiencing. I guess that makes sense now too though I'm not very in touch with what the self-doubt is all about right now. It could be something as stupid as my blood test results that I got back today showing that my cholesterol is slightly higher than it should be. Seeing that struck a deep chord in me. The fat girl inside my brain got hurt by that result - frustrated because she feels she tries her best to eat really well and is pissed off because her stupid back doesn't allow her to get any exercise. I bet that's what brought on some self-doubt and has turned me dark today. Oh well as I said before, it will pass! And that fat girl had better start doing some major cardio! And there are other reasons I'm feeling a bit dark but I won't get into those on here...




Heidi says: late but here I am! :)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hey, thanks for remembering my birthday!!!