Thursday, October 12, 2006

Thursday 12 October 2006: Sarah can't explain how she feels today... She's not even sure herself...

Sarah says:
I feel strange today. Not sure how I feel. Slept two hours. Had a rough morning with my kid. Feeling the ends of things. Looking forward to new beginnings. Sad and excited all at the same time I guess. Also afraid and dark. My mind is a total mess lately thanks to my upcoming operation on my back. It spins constantly in all directions and I have to force myself to be on top of it all. I'm making firm decisions though lately and trying to really pay attention to what feels good in my life and what doesn't and what I want in it and what I don't. But with that, I feel in a state of confusion a lot. It's challenging. And I guess being tired and in pain all the time can't help! I seem like I function okay but inside I am pretty messy right now. Hence the Post Secret Cards below about what we share, what we keep to ourselves and how we can't even admit what's true to ourselves and how we really feel because half the time we don't even know, are too scared or can't bother... I can relate to all of them equally for various reasons - especially the fart one!

1 comment:

Upstater said...

Sarah being in constant pain and then having to have surgery with a long reouperation time is not something that is going to make you feel happy.
I have seen you look like this before and it is usually when you feel overwhelmed. Why don't you try and take some fun time for yourself if you can.