Monday, October 30, 2006

Monday 30 October 2006: Heidi and Sarah say hello and happy sunny Monday!

Finally it works again!!!! Here's Heidi and me Monday. Notice Heidi's pyjamas...
Sarah says:
It’s sunny and warm in Belgium so forget all that dark talk yesterday! This weather is crazy! Hard to believe. Have to enjoy every last bit of sunshine! Maybe the darkness and cold when it does set in will stay as long as all this sunshine and it will be dark till June! Let’s hope not! Heidi’s baby is so totally cute and big-eyed! She’s starting to flex her smile muscle and I’m sure she can see now! You can see it in her eyes that she is focusing! She’s changing all the time.

So here’s my Post Secret pick of the week! It’s a bit obvious but I can’t help it. I have surgery on my back (originally I wrote band instead of back here but caught it fast - what would Freud say?) and whenever you hear about back surgery you hear that you rarely get lucky enough to have it juts once! No Siree! You start with one and then you get another and another and another. The first begins the long line of other back surgeries. I don’t believe in God but I am sure hoping with all my might that I end up with just one back surgery and go on pain free from there! A girl can dream, no?! Anyway, this card struck me even though it is about open-heart surgery. Five times no less! I guess the heart, the brain and the lungs seem like the scariest surgeries but I’d say the spine comes pretty close after that – though every surgery on every part of the body is scary I’m sure! I just hate the idea of my spine being messed with and all those nerves and all my major organs moved aside as they pass a new fake disc through my belly area to insert in my spine. What an awful thought! But I can’t help but think about it. It scares me. I can’t pretend it doesn’t. I can only be so strong. I want to live. I want to be pain free. I don’t want to die or be more damaged under the knife. These are real fears, whether exaggerated ones or not. That’s what goes through your head when you know you’re going to be cut open, prodded and sewed back together again. I can’t help but reflect on life now. When there is any threat of death, even just the slightest, around you can only think more about life.
By the way there is a new Post Secret book out! I can’t wait to see it. You can learn more about it by clicking on the Post Secret link.

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